The Austro-Hungarian Connection: Section Seven

The Wild Blue Yonder

Kelly Aviation Facility
Near Grantville, State of Thuringia-Franconia

    Denise stared at the object that was the center of the proposal Lannie had just advanced.

    “No fucking way,” she pronounced.

    Yost shook his head lugubriously. “You really oughta watch your—”

    “Don’t fucking start on me, Lannie. Just don’t.” She pointed an accusing finger at the aircraft. “There is no fucking—or flibbertyjerking, if that makes you happier—way in hell I’m getting into that thing.”

    Lannie frowned. “What does ‘flibbertyjerking’ mean? And what’s the matter, anyway? It flies. It flies just fine. I’ve taken it up plenty of times.” After a two-second pause he added, “Well, maybe three times.”

    Denise scowled at him. “You said yourself. It’s a prototype, remember?”

    “Well, sure, but…”

    He let that trail off into nothing. The truth was, except for being a boozer, Lannie wasn’t a bad guy. And he did have the virtue of being a very loyal sort of person, even if Denise thought he had to be half-nuts to give his loyalty to Bob and Kay Kelly.

    Kay was a harridan, and Bob was… Well. Impractical. Not hard to get along with, but the kind of guy who simply couldn’t control his enthusiasms and seemed to have the attention span of a six-year-old.

    She looked around the big hangar. There were no fewer than four planes in evidence, all of them in various stages of construction—or deconstruction, in the case of two—and every one of them bore the label “prototype.” It seemed like every time Bob Kelly got close to finishing a plane he decided there was something not quite right about it and he needed to redesign it. Again. The slogan of his company might as well be The Perfect is the Enemy of the Good Enough—and We Can Prove it to You.

    The only reason he hadn’t gone bankrupt three times over, since the Ring of Fire, was because of his wife. For reasons Denise couldn’t begin to fathom, Kay Kelly seemed to have a veritable genius for drumming up investors and squeezing money out of the government.

    “I’m not getting into it,” she repeated.

    Alas, some trace of uncertainty must have been in her voice. The third party present detected it and pounced immediately. That was Keenan Murphy, the mechanic who was the only other person in the facility that day. The Kellys had gone up to Magdeburg to lobby the government for more funds, and apparently the office manager had decided to take the day off.

    “C’mon, Denise,” said Keenan. “We gotta help Noelle. I mean, she’s my sister.”

    Denise almost snapped back, “half-sister,” but she restrained herself. First, because Keenan was giving her such a sad-eyed, woebegone look; second, because he was a sad-sack, woebegone kind of guy; but, mostly, because whether or not Keenan Murphy was a loser he was another one who had an exaggerated, irrational sense of loyalty.

    As did Denise herself, and she knew it. In her own personal scale of things, the way she judged people, that counted for a lot.

    She stared at the plane again, trying to imagine herself in it up there—what? maybe a mile high?—with a souse for a pilot and a low-achiever for a…

    “Hey, wait a minute.” She glared at the two of them. “I thought you said Keenan didn’t know how to fly.”

    “He don’t,” said Lannie. “He’s the bombardier. He’ll ride in the back.” He pointed toward the rear of the cockpit. Now that she looked more closely, Denise could see that there was a third seat there, behind the two side-by-side seats in front.

    Her eyes widened. “You have got to be kidding. You want me to be the co-pilot? I don’t know fuck-all about flying!”

    Keenan Murphy shook his head. “Naw, not that. We need you to be the navigator. I can’t see well enough, back there, and Lannie… well…”

    Yost gave him a pained look. Keenan shrugged. “Sorry, Lannie, but it’s just a fact. You get lost easy.”

    “Oh, swell,” said Denise. She ran fingers through her dark hair, starting to wind it up into a bun. No, hell with that. She’d just put it in a pony tail, like she did riding the bike.

    “Gimme a rubber band,” she commanded. With a sneer: “I’m sure you got plenty around here, for engine parts.”

    “Hey, there’s no call for—”

    “Leave it, Lannie,” said Keenan, chuckling. “I’ll find you one, Denise. It might not be real clean, though.”

    She looked around the hangar again. Bob Kelly followed the Big Bang theory of design and manufacture. Out of chaos, creation—and, clearly enough, they were still a lot closer to chaos. The area was completely unlike her dad’s weld shop, which was as neat and well-kept as he wasn’t.

    “Never mind,” she said, heading for the hangar door. “My bike’s right outside. I got some in the saddlebags.”

 

---

 

The Saale river, south of Halle

    “I ought to have you arrested!” shouted Captain Knefler.

    “For what?” demanded the burly boatman. Clearly, he was not a man easily intimidated by a mere show of official outrage. Not here, at least, while he was still within Thuringia-Franconia. In some provinces of the USE, not to mention the districts under direct imperial administration, he might have been more circumspect. But the laws concerning personal liberties were strict in the SoTF—and, perhaps more importantly, were strictly enforced by the authorities.

    The real authorities, which did not include any cavalry captain who thought he could throw his weight around.

    “You are part of a treasonous plot!” screeched Knefler.

    Watching the scene, standing behind the captain where Knefler couldn’t see him, Sergeant Reimers flashed a grin at the two soldiers with him. None of them had any use for their commanding officer. This was entertaining.

    “Oh, what a pile of horseshit,” jeered the boatman. He waved a thick hand at the three rafts now drawn up to the river bank. “Your evidence, please?”

    No evidence there, since the rafts were quite empty, except for some parcels of food and a few personal belongings. Unless something had been dumped overboard, the crude vessels obviously hadn’t carried anything down from Jena except the boatmen themselves and their travel necessities.

    Reimers’ amusement faded a bit. To be sure, there was no chance the boatmen had jettisoned anything, since they couldn’t have spotted the cavalry troop coming up from Grantville until it was almost upon them. Whereupon, Knefler had ordered them—with the threat of his soldiers’ leveled carbines, no less—to bring the rafts immediately ashore.

    Still, the captain was furious enough—he was certainly thick-witted enough—to order his men to start dredging the river for miles upstream. As useless as such a task might be, given their small numbers and lack of equipment.

    The problem was that while Knefler was thick-witted, he was not a complete dimwit. He knew perfectly well that he now faced a major embarrassment. Probably not something that would get him cashiered, more was the pity. But certainly something that would not enhance his prospects for promotion.

    The young American girl had told him the culprits had fled to the south, in language that was still a delight to recall. But Knefler had dismissed her arguments and insisted on following his own reasoning.

 

---

 

    Captain Knefler was now wasting time glaring at the empty rafts. “I need no material evidence,” he insisted. “There is the evidence of your actions. Why, if it were not part of a treasonous plot, did you leave Jena before dawn?”

    He tried a sneer himself. “Of course, I am no boatman. But I doubt such is standard practice.”

    “Because our employer paid us to do so,” said the boatmen. “A bonus, he said, to make sure we got to Halle in time to pick up—”

    “Nonsense! Nonsense! You did it so there would be no witnesses! Nobody who could tell me that the rafts were empty!”

    The boatman planted his hands on his hips and squinted up at the tall, almost-skeletal officer. “In other words, you were outsmarted. Not by me and my boys—we are innocent parties only accidentally involved—but by the man you’re chasing. Not so?”

    Knefler glared down at him. “You will have to answer for your actions. Prove your innocence.”

    The boatman’s sneer was magnificent. “To the contrary, Your Mightyship. This is Thuringia-Franconia, or have you forgotten? You have to demonstrate my guilt, not the other way around.”

    Knefler was so angry he started waving his arms. “Even the silly fucking Americ—ah, the up-timers—accept such a thing as circumstantial evidence.”

    “Fine. There is the circumstantial evidence that we were hired to take rafts down the river to Halle to pick up a consignment of goods for early delivery to Magdeburg. Said deed being committed in Gerhard Pfrommer’s tavern on the waterfront in Jena, by an man unknown to anyone there who approached Gerhard asking for reliable boatmen and was pointed to us at a nearby table.”

    The sneer didn’t waver once. “Said table, I might add, being right in the middle of the tavern—crowded, it was, that time of evening—so that any number of people heard the whole thing. He paid for the rafts, in addition to our labor. Bought them from Rudi Schaefer, also at the tavern, in a discussion also overheard by plenty of people. Good rates for the rafts and good pay for us, too, with a bonus for an early departure.”

    He took his right hand from his hip and gestured at the rafts. “So, we did. Why in the world would we refuse? I could show you the money. Still have almost all of it.”

    He made no movement to do so, of course. Even in Thuringia-Franconia, no sensible workman would gratuitously show money to an officer.

    Stymied, Knefler went back to glaring at the rafts. “Describe the man who hired you,” he commanded.

    “Again?” The boatman’s squint now verged on sheer melodrama. “Perhaps you should add more rosemary to your diet. It’s good for the memory, they say.”

    “Describe the man again!” screeched Knefler.

    Shrugging, the boatman did so. The description was identical to the one he’d given when he first came ashore. A handsome man, a bit taller than average, broad-shouldered, appeared to be well-built. Wasn’t armed with a sword but carried himself like a nobleman. Long dark hair, dark brown eyes, a complexion that was not quite dark enough to be called swarthy but came close. Olive, you might call it. Maybe he was an Italian.

    He wore fancy apparel, the most noticeable of which items were a red coat, expensive boots, and a feathered cap. The feathers were very large. You couldn’t miss the fellow in a snowstorm. He spoke German—old-style, not Amideutsch—with something of an accent, at least to the boatman’s ear. No, he had no idea what accent it was. There were dozens of German dialects, even among native speakers of the tongue. How was he to know? The man paid in good silver, which was a lingua franca accepted anywhere.

    Finally, Captain Knefler released the boatmen. He gave up trying to force them to return to Jena when their leader pointed out that he would then be taking responsibility for reimbursing Rudi Schaefer for the price the rafts would bring in Magdeburg. That being, of course, standard business practice for the disposal of rafts, and well-established in law.

    So, off the boatmen went, as cheery as could be. And why not? They’d been well paid to do nothing more strenuous than guide empty rafts following the current downriver. As work went, about as easy as it gets.

    After they pushed off, Knefler snarled to Reimers: “First thing I’ll do when we get back is teach that little whore a lesson. She’ll learn the price for cursing an officer.”

     One of the soldiers cleared his throat. “Ah… Captain. I don’t think—”

    “Silence, Corporal Maurer!” bellowed the sergeant. “The captain gave you no leave to speak.”

    Maurer was suitably abashed, and shut up. Knefler sniffed at him and went for his horse.

 

---

 

    About an hour later, on the ride back to Jena, Maurer drew his horse alongside Reimers. “Sergeant, you know who that girl was?” he asked quietly, after looking ahead to see that Captain Knefler was too far away to hear them.

    Reimers smiled. “Denise Beasley. The daughter of Buster Beasley.”

    The poor fellow seemed confused. “But… if you knew that… remember the time…”

    “This is why you are a mere corporal and I am a lofty sergeant,” said Reimers. He nodded toward the captain in front of the little column. “Do you want the shithead for a garrison commander?”

    The expression on Corporal Maurer’s face was answer enough.

    Reimers’ ensuing chuckle had very little humor in it. “Sadly, the current fuck-up is probably not enough to get him discharged. But we can hope that his temper is still high when we get back to Grantville, so the idiot goes to chastise the daughter and discovers the father in the way. If we’re lucky, we might even get to watch what happens.”

    It took Maurer a few seconds—he was pretty dull-witted himself, truth be told—but then he started smiling himself.

    “Oh.”

 

---

 

Kelly Aviation Facility
Near Grantville, State of Thuringia-Franconia

    The take-off wasn’t too bad, actually. Lannie would have been in the air force except Jesse Wood didn’t want any part of his drinking habits. But he did know how to fly, as such.

    Denise suspected that “as such” probably didn’t cover all that a pilot needed. But it was a done deal now, so there was no point fretting over it.

    “That way,” she said, pointing. “It’s called ‘southeast.’”

    “You don’t gotta be so sarcastic.”

    Fortunately, she’d thought to make sure they had a map before they took off. Lannie and Keenan, naturally, hadn’t thought of that. Apparently, they thought Denise could navigate by feminine instinct or something—which was a laugh, since feminine instinct when it came to directions was just to ask somebody, and who was she going to ask up here? A fucking bird?

    The map was on the grimy side, like most things in Kelly Aviation. At that, it was better than the seat she was sitting on.

    Printed across the top of the map, the ink a little smeared, was a notice that read: Property of Kelly Aviation. Unauthorized Use Will Be Prosecuted.

    “How’d you talk Bob into letting you use the plane whenever you wanted?”

    “Well,” said Lannie.

    Behind her, Keenan cleared his throat. “It’s an emergency, you know.”

    “Oh, perfect,” said Denise. “The first recorded instance since the RoF of plane-stealing. I betcha that’s a hanging offense.”

    Lannie looked smug. “Nope. I checked once. Seems nobody’s ever thought to getting around to making it a crime yet.”

    “See, Denise?” added Keenan. “Nothing to worry about.”

    They even seemed to believe their own bullshit. Amazing. Did the jack-offs really think that somewhere in the books there wasn’t a provision for prosecuting Grand Theft, Whatever We Overlooked?

    But…

    This was kinda fun, actually. Except for having to help Keenan attach the two bombs underneath. The bombs weren’t all that big, just fifty-pounders, but they were still a little scary. What had been even scarier was watching Keenan do it. He belonged to the what-the-hell-it’s-close-enough school of craftsmanship. Fine for chopping onions; probably a losing proposition over the long haul for munitions-handling.

    Still and all, it was done. Denise couldn’t remember a time she’d ever worried about water under a bridge. Now that she’d almost reached the ripe age of sixteen—her birthday was coming up on December 11—she was pleased to see no signs of advancing decrepitude.